Bottled Up

I wish I could tell you that I love you,
I miss you,
Drinking a bottle of Jagermeister,
I wish I had courage to dial your number,
Call you to come over so that we can hang out.
I wish I could stop seeing you from distance,
Spoting you within a large group of people,
Trying to imagine what it would feel like being next to you,
Watching the green monster come out every time when you look at another being with so depth and interest,
I wish you could look at me the very same way.
I wish you could stop seeing me as weird and awkward,
Staring outside my bedroom,
I cannot help it if window land on you,
Texting you that you look good from a distance.
I wish you would give me the time of day,
A chance to take you out on the town,
Candle lit dinner for two,
Pulling out your chair,
Apologies good sir that I would like to treat you like a king.
I wish you could bask in my love,
Complimenting you every day,
Doing a twirl in front of the mirror with your cheeks completely red,
Go ahead dzaddy,
I’m not even mad.
I wish I could hang all the art of you on the wall,
Creating a little art gallery within the four walls of your soul.
Watching you see yourself through the eyes of a writer,
A poet,
I’m a flawed soul but I see you as perfect being.
I wish you got an opportunity to know me a little more,
Reading the cover of the book,
Throwing it to the bottom of cupboard,
Becoming the forgotten book.
I wish you would grant me a chance to undress your mind,
Looking at the beauty of your mind,
Glaring at me with smug of your face,
Finding the indication that I need to go all the way inside you.
Hands on the sheet,
Holding on as you begin fighting for dear life.
Hearing you breathing heavily in my ear,
Mentally begging me to stop,
But your heart says “Mami, please do not stop”
I wish you could stop trying to squeezing me in the corner,
Scolding me like little girl to behave myself,
Hiding me like a child that no one really wants to call their own.
An embarrassment to society.
I wish I could text you like I used to,
Understand why I really want you,
Worshipping you like a God.
But now I am walking on eggshells because I don’t want to lose the little contact that I have.
I wish you gave me a chance to dance under the stars with you,
Wearing a mask on my face,
I don’t want you to have nightmare of dancing with the monster.
You look like Prince Charming and I look like Cinderella before finding the glass slipper.
I love fairytales, it’s quite stupid to believe in it at this age,
But I have to be honest I only believe it because of you.
Randy, you should get a soulmate already is what they all say,
Responding with tears brawling down my face,
I do not want to try again if I cannot have you in the end.