a overwhelming Teary Box oF love For A Queen

A decade of touching lives

A decade of inspiring individuals from different backgrounds

Inspiring me to change my life

And really believe in myself

Beautiful queen k

Wishing I could go back in time to your show from 9-12

Doing daily affirmations with you

Reminding myself of my self-worth

Taking each brick of positive words to build myself into the constant evolving confident queen that I am today

Thinking back to the days where I ripped myself up emotionally

Suffering from low self esteem

And being in a dark place mentally

I heard your voice

And I genuinely felt like you were talking to me

Tears rolling my face

I didn’t think you would see me as beautiful

Getting to know you better

You remove layers of yourself

And the core of you looks like shiny diamond

Glaring at your pictures on Instagram

I saw myself in you

Your admiration for soccer and cars inspired me to embrace a side of myself that not lot of people know about

The beautiful queen behind microphone

Releasing inspiring wise words everyday

My favorite part of the day

Staring at the beautiful night

Catching a glimpse of a shooting star

My dream is to be an incredibly confident independent beautiful queen just like you

Thank you is not enough for me

Wishing that there was more that I could say to explain the gratitude in my heart

More time in the day to give you all the beautiful roses that you gave to your listeners

Thanking you for sharing yourself with the world

The Abrupt Disappearance Of You

“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone”
I never thought I’d be living that quote at the moment
Even though you are the one who chose to walk
I still stayed in the place where I left my heart
And that is in your hands
You walked away for months and never looked back
But I stayed waiting for the day that I would see you walk through the door
And yelled that you missed me
You stayed in my mind like a permanent record
No matter how many times I tried to replace you
Or fill the void that you left behind it was never enough
Truth is that I yearned for you
Especially on the rainy days
And on the days where the thoughts in my mind were loud and I couldn’t shut them down
Or put them on mute
When I want to be held and heard
Instead of being ripped apart and judged by the way I looked
Moving through the different places where we used to go together
I struggled to forget about you or hit the ignore button
Repeating every single moment in head
Attempting to figure out where exactly did things go left
I come up with different theories
But none of them are making any sense
As the sands move through the hourglass
Each minute is being consumed on concepts that are not making any sense
I walk up and down
In and out of all the rooms
Wanting to find some clue as to what exactly happened
But there is nothing there except for the picture and your favorite shirt that you gave me
Struggling to go to lay my head in the bed that we shared every night
I settled on the couch that we got together with your favorite shirt cause I wanted to feel close to you
Laying my head on the cushion that you held whenever you found yourself missing me
I am knocked by your scent
Feeling my elasticated glass heart lose grip of my bottled-up emotions.
I lose complete control of my body
As my body begin hitting the ground
Eyes closed tightly
I begin to see you in the distance
Falling into a deep hole
Reaching out my hand towards you
Trying to catch you
However, you disappeared into thin air for good

Hidden Feels…

Ordinary soul from a thousand kilometers
You are amazing
And not a lot of people give you the credit you deserve
Eyes close tightly
I wish you could see my life through the eyes of a writer
There are so many stories to tell
And a lot of moments to capture with a camera in my heart
Flipping the hourglass around
Gazing at the sands as they move through the glass
A minute is wasted
For tomorrow is not guaranteed
So I take the opportunity to tell you presently
I am a passionate poetic lover
Who is not afraid to go after the things that I want
But I am always sacrificing my happiness
And hit my head to the ground
Would be rated a 5
But in my heart, I know that I’m a 25
You were a stranger in the beginning
Always hiding at the back of the room
Cheering me on silently
The tide took a turn for the better
And this is unexpected
We would talk about everything and anything
And then you would disappear into the world for days
Sometimes even months
My heart shattered into small little pieces
And I would wonder if I said anything wrong
But the echo of my thoughts would come bouncing back at me
You came back
As I found myself missing you
But I am all by myself
In a place where I was happy
Seeing your image from a distance
I want to hold you this very moment
Your smile melts my heart
Trying to fight the temptation of wanting to be more than just a companion
The phone rings
An unfamiliar number shows up
I press the green button and it’s your voice
My heart starts racing
All I want is to grab you and get completely lost in your arms
But you are far.
You laid your heart on the ground for me to hold
Seeing all the love and affection in your eyes
Fear gets the better part of me
But I plunder the biggest leap of faith
Hoping that you would hold my heart gently
The confinement walls begin falling to the ground at the snap of your fingers
And legs beginning crossing the line wishing that nothing changes.

Piece Together…

I waited for the stars to align
And the universe to make things happen
They brought me you
A resemblance that I thought only exists in my dreams
Watching you come to life like a robot being assembled
But I didn’t dare to approach you
Surrounded by self-doubt and lacking enthusiasm in myself
The easiest thing is just to walk away
Glancing at you from my bedroom
Skeptical about coming close to you
My deepest fear is being the clown behind the glass
Taking note of every single detail about your physical exterior
The image disseminated eternally in my heart like a permanent record
Eyes close tightly
Thinking maybe we come from two different worlds so it’s best to walk away
Left with a huge hole in my chest
Striving to fill it up
But nothing works at all
Traveling in between two cities
Glimpsing at elements that reflect who you are
Discovering something that grabs my attention
But it didn’t quite hit the spot
Not realizing that I’m allotting to qualities that reminds me of you
Wishing so much that I could see you again and this time you would be mine
Praying that God would save your love for me
I waited for you as days turned into weeks
Weeks turned into months
Months turned into years
Eventually, our paths cross
And everything that I spent years looking for is right in front of me
Making sure that everything is perfect
Trying to impress you
Perhaps the ball might go in when I aim for the hoop this time around
I step forward to take my shot
But got denied once again

The Expansion Of Phenomenon Woman

I’m seen as a 5
Stressing about what others might think of me
Ears to the ground
I heard the negative comments
And allowed it to get to my head
My heart instantly became heavy
Resulting in me being a dark place
Constantly doubting the fact that I’m gorgeous
Hiding behind the mask
No one saw me dying gradually
Choosing to be an astronaut in my world
Building a strong wall to protect my soul
I’m scared of being who I truly wanted to be
A beautiful woman
Silent moment alone
Wandering in between two cities
I needed to discover me
Detailing all my flaws
I’ve learned to love the imperfections and perfection
Seeing myself as 20
Embracing her that I know I am
Wearing my crown with my head clasped elevated
Eyes closed tightly
I recognize that I could not change anything about it
Embracing the faults on my body
It set in that I couldn’t do anything
Staring at the woman who inspired me
I needed to accumulate
Turning into the beautiful butterfly that I dreamed of
Choosing my happiness
Eventually, I feel at peace
Discovering my happy place
Not remorseful for wearing my heart with all its scars on my sleeves
Preferring to convey my thoughts on paper instead of talking
Being completely satisfied with leaving my heart on a blank manuscript
Confronting everything that I suppress
I watched my soul finally being completely free
As I confidently chase after everything that my heart desires
I’ve learned to keep climbing up even when I’ve been told no!
As I committed to engraving my emotions
From highs to lows
Amazing being is who I am
As I continue to rise with my head held high taking my position on my throne
Evolving in the force that I’ve always wanted to be for a long time
I’m a Queen in my world

A Heart That Never Stopped Waiting For You…

There are things that I wish I could tell you
But I do not think you would understand
Staring at the beautiful night
Wishing that you could be in my shoes
For a while
Look at things from my eyes
Maybe you would understand why I never left the boxing ring
Why I stopped fighting
Even though there’s nothing much to fight for
Sitting in the room that was once filled with so much happiness, love, and kindness
But it has turned into a cold space
Staring at the hourglass that you left on the table the day you moved into my heart
But there’s no sand on the upper bulb
Feeling a huge knock on the center of my chest
It hits me hard that the glassed heart is empty
Fingers crossed tightly, I patiently waited for you to walk through the door
The sun going down slowly
And it started getting dark
Thoughts in my head started getting louder
Trying, by all means, to avoid thinking the worst
Eyes closed tightly
Searching for my happy place where I hid the good memories
Giving my head this instant rush
Picturing that beautiful smile on your face that left me completely mesmerized
Hearing your beautiful voice that gave me instant shivers down my spine
I wanted nothing more but to make you happy
Feeling a painful cut in my heart
Wishing I never opened up that can of worms that no one knew about
Being consistent like you wanted me to be
Holding you tightly
I didn’t want things to end now
Remembering how you looked and how it felt when I first saw you
Tongue-tied and reminding myself not to say anything stupid
Wishing I could have told you from the beginning and laid everything on the line
Maybe you would still be stuck around
Hearing the doorknob turning slowly
I begin opening my eyes and making it big like they are about to pop out
Waiting in anticipation to see you
I’m hit hard with your favorite fragrance
My legs couldn’t hold it back as I see your hand put your bags down
I begin jumping on top of you
With a big bunch of happy tears rolling down my face
I never lost faith that eventually the tided would turn and you would come back

Voiceless Commitment…

In my gazes
You are perfect
With no flaws or wasted takes
Everything that I’ve always dreamed about is completely wrapped up in you
Mysterious soul
At one point I thought it quite magical as well
Staring at the beautiful dark sky
Fingers crossed that I would see a shooting star
Eyes closed tightly waiting in anticipation to make a wish
But there’s nothing at all
Staring at you from the tall walls that have hidden me
My heart captured your exterior in every angle
And completely drawn to your interior
I feel like a puppet being pulled into your heart
It turned into a permanent tattoo in my soul
I never stopped thinking about you
Every single day I would patiently wait until I get to see you again
Staring at the stars
I replay the moment in my head of when I saw you
Breaking down every single thing about you in my microscopic mind
From the way you look
To the way you smile looks
How you walk
Thinking about you makes me feel warm inside
Making sure that I don’t miss anything at all
Staring at all of this information
I begin to feel scared that maybe you’re all in my head
Maybe you don’t exist
I should just pack up and forget about you
But it just doesn’t feel right
It doesn’t make sense to me
I found myself interacting with others
Trying hard to forget about you
Finding myself being physically present but not emotionally present
Each one capturing the mind and the heart
But no one captured the mind, the heart, and soul quite like you
Going through every fact and thought that is written on paper
Thinking that maybe I missed something
But there’s nothing at all
Standing at the window
Gazing at the outside world wishing so badly that I could see you
As I see a familiar walk and face from a distance
My legs begin racing down the stairs to the front door
Watching you approach my home slowly
My heart begins racing
Feeling butterflies dancing in my stomach and a smile created on my face
I know that this is it
Approaching you slowly and taking your hand to gently place it on my heart
I wish you could read my mind
Unraveling all the feelings that I suppressed for years waiting for you
I vowed to never stop loving you

The Ultimate Admirable Tale…

I always found myself gazing at you from a distance
Afraid you might not like what you see
On my knees, I begin to pray that I would get another opportunity to see if it’s real
Choosing to hide behind the walls that protect my heart
Seeing your infectious smile
Feeling like I’m standing on top of the highest building
Taking the biggest leap of faith
Falling for your beautiful soul
But maybe you are not real
Or maybe you’re a figure of my imagination
Staring at the ceiling
Remembering how beautiful you are
I thought that maybe I saw you in my dreams
Recalling your beautiful slightly pink lips
And it hit me hard like a punch in the stomach that you just walked past me
I stood still for a moment
Not taking into consideration that I’m going to shop
Turning around for a minute to see if you were still there
But you disappeared like you never existed
Passing by your house on my way home
I turned to the left to check a glimpse of you there
But there was no one outside
Feeling my heart crashing down to my pelvic area
I began hanging my head
As my heart was filled with so much disappointment
Needing a moment to myself
Staring at the beautiful night
I saw a beautiful bright light
It’s the moon
I start closing my eyes
Praying in my heart that I would see a shooting star
So I could wish for you
Small bits of your beautiful face start coming up
But it’s not clear enough for me to see
Everything is a blur right now
I would patiently count the days to my special day
Hearing them sing “Happy birthday to you!”
Eyes closed tightly
Blowing out each candle
All I wished for is seeing you
The tided turned
And the universe heard my silent prayers
Seeing your name appearing on the top banner of my cell phone screen
My heart started beating out of control
Feeling myself slowly losing my breath
My palms begin sweating out of control
Putting my phone down and stepping out of the room
I needed a moment to calm down
Taking deep slow breaths in and out
I eventually found the courage to reply back
Talking to you for a while
In my heart, I wish it could last forever
Realizing that we’re a vibe virtually
But I couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel up close
As I count the days that I finally get to see you
Playing around with different scenarios in my head
Recalling the day I walked to your house
Rehearsing the entire moment over and over again
When I saw you and that beautiful smile
I was left completely speechless
My mind went blank
And everything that I rehearsed in my head went straight out the window
Left completely mesmerized by your presence
I was left gasping for air
As you knocked me completely off my feet
You are more than anything I’ve ever dreamt about
Finding the missing piece to emptiness
My heart feels whole again
Turning off the negative thoughts in my head
Living in the moment
This moment right here with you
Staring into your beautiful eyes
Beautiful eyes hypnotizing me
I’m so lost but lost in a good way
Wanting nothing more but kiss you
Pulling my face towards you
The warmth of your breath begins hitting the back of my throat
Both our eyes closed tightly
Pulling my body close to you covering the space between our bodies
Taking your hands-on sightseeing trip around my body
I wanted nothing more but to live in your heart
If forever existed I would rather spend it with you by my side

On The Line…

I wish I could suppress my emotions
Wear this mask
And shield my heart from shattering
I’ve wanted you for the longest time
And waited for the day where you and I would meet
Watching the sands move through the hourglass
I patiently waited for the stars to align
And the galaxy to open up
Gazing at you for a while
Admiring the individual that you are
It hits me that I’m an honest soul,
Maybe too honest for that matter
But I can’t help it
With everyone else, I can wait for my turn
However, I couldn’t do that with you
For the first time, I feel safe, loved, and wanted
Maybe it’s not continuous and consistent
But every single moment felt like a permanent tattoo
Recollecting every single moment like it was yesterday
And the memories became quite distinct
Like a shooting star
Your heart became my safe place
A spot where I can feel free
For the first time, I can let my shield down to trust you fully
Be completely comfortable with being unarmed
Presumably, in your gazes, I’m temporary fix
Like chewing gum, I’m supposed to last until the flavor runs out
I’m probably not supposed to be here,
But I can’t help how I feel
Choosing to remove the mask
And let my guard down
I allowed myself to be unarmed
Completely vulnerable
And go in without my shield of protection
Sharing parts of me that no one else knows about
It became my indication to tell you that I trust you
Trust you enough to realize to be completely honest
Risk it all by standing on the tallest skyscraper
Laying it all down to silent my doubts
Awaken a dream I thought I forgot all about
Thinking back to the promise I made to myself and my heart
Appealing with myself that one day I would find the bravery to unfold everything that I held from you
As you stand right in front of me
Glancing at every single part of you
Constantly been left speechless whenever I observe you
Everything about you seems so glorious
In my eyes, you’re a masterpiece
Setting every single flaw on the surface
Thinking that maybe I would walk away from you and never look back
Instead, I just stood there and looked at you
And authorized cupid’s arrow to fill my heart with this unexplained devotion
Battling to resist plummeting into the illegal deep
I forfeited the battle and allowed myself to plunge into the sea

Unapologetic Development…

I wish you could see me in a different lantern
A diverse viewpoint
Recognize the alteration in me
Maybe you would understand me a little better
The lengthiest voyage on self-love and replenishment to the soul
I never thought I’d feel emptied and unloved
Alone in a room filled with darkness
Thinking back to where it all started
Being brought into the world just to be seen as odd
Just to feel completely uncertain about the exterior
It might not be that appealing to the world
Advising me to be hidden from society
Picturing an hourglass in my mind
Seeing the sands moving through the hourglass
I realize that time isn’t on my side
And I can’t hide perpetually
Vacating my solace territory to see the realm
Anxious and scared that I might not fit in
I wore a mask shielding my fears and doubts about myself
Not realizing that I’m dying slowly and silently
Going through something that I struggled to establish into words
Plastering a big smile on my face
I found comfort in hiding behind the cloak
Fearing that removing the mask would make me seem weak
And being weak renders as being defenseless
Choosing to suppress my feelings
I continue shielding myself from the world
Eyes closed tightly
I picture the woman who I’d like to be
Recognizing everything that I crave for
Is within a reach of a hand
Like a vision board
I see it all coming concurrently
Gashes swiveling down my exterior
Smashing me hard behind the head
I admit that maybe you wouldn’t see what I see
They say don’t judge a book by its cover
You’re not aware of where it all started
Foremost if you knew then maybe you would comprehend why things are the way they are
It would all make sense why I establish everything on the table for you to understand
Glaring at the beautiful night
I scoured for the shooting star
Fingers crossed over hoping that maybe one day you would understand why everything is out in the open for you