Six little eyes
And a million questions surround their little minds
As your absence left them with a lot of unanswered questions

I watch them stare out of window
Hoping to hear your car pull up the driveway
That’s all I ever heard is”Mommy,when is Dad coming back?”

My heart torn into a million pieces
As I stare into their eyes
And my mind turns blank as I try to figure out what should I tell them??

But I simply change the topic immediately

The night falls
And three little souls struggle to fall asleep
I found them laying on couch

Patiently waiting for you to come home

As I found myself wrapping my arms around them
I could hear them weeping for you
And it broke my heart
As I felt like a weak mother

My son stares into my eyes
His heart shattered into pieces
As he could tell that you are not coming home anymore

All the hopes
And goals

As I found out that he looked up to you
But we disappointed him
He believes in love

But because you left
And left him with no kind of warning
He doesn’t think it’s worth giving someone a chance to love him

As he counts the number of times that I fought for you
He asked me if it was worth it
Hurting myself again just so that we could be a family again

Tears roll down my face
My heart shattered into pieces
As I realized that I was only one trying my best to make things work

I was afraid of letting you go
Getting hurt and dealing with the kids broken hearts

“I’m really sorry” were the words that came out my mouth
As I felt ashamed of my actions as a mother
I decide to take the blame for every mistake

I realized that it was my fault that you left
The reason why you seeked comfort in the arms of another
Knowing that you will never come back
Or fight for the relationship

It was time to walk away from you
But the hardest part is how??



A month is a very time nd during that period of time she lost him…Her best friend,motivation and her inspiration. She loved him very much that she pretty much did everything and anything to show him how much she cared…She wasn’t perfect neither was he but he was perfect in her eyes. She never told him how she truly felt so someone else always spoke up for her because she feared pushing him away into the arm’s of another. She open the doors that allowed people to interfere.Each time that he would let her go,she would fight for him because he meant so much to her. He was completely open with her that she felt like she could trust him. He knew her deepest fears and her secrets but he being distant with her nd she felt like a nuisance upon his life. She felt like she always had prove herself to him but the unexpected storm and she didn’t it coming…the day he walked away nd tore her apart. That unconditional love that she once had was no longer conditional anymore…A wise lady once told her to stop fighting for people who didn’t want her in life then she realized that it was better if she walked away. Loving him from a distant nd better. She never hated him because that was once someone she loved nd care about.


Here I am once again


And filled with pain

Love why me though??

Why do I have to experience this kinda love again??

I found myself being a secret

That no one knew about

Filled with so much pain inside

I just want disappear from the world

To get away from you and everyone else

Tears roll down my face

The pain hurts even more

Knowing the truth

You could never tell me to my face

But I know that you met someone else

I’m not perfect

And I don’t think I want to be

But one thing I know is that the love that I have for you is genuine

I might not have been your first

But I hoped to be your last

Your one and only

iS’thandwa sakho


You have already made clear you want

And that’s not me….

I am just a nobody

Fooling myself hoping to find somebody

But there’s nobody

As I drown my sorrows away

In a bottle that I borrowed

I just feel like dying inside

All I really became to you

And everyone else is joke

Filled with smoke

I just wish I could fly away from you and everyone else



My mind drifts away

And my heart is not intact with my soul

As I think of you

The one that I really love

As I think of what I put you through

I feel like I don’t deserve you

Holding on to the past

I felt like I was hurting you

That the fear of losing you scares me a lot

All I really want is to be with you

You are all that ever wanted

And all I ever needed

It hurts being away from you

That I wish I could be next to you

Seeing you smile and hearing you laugh

Oh,how much I love you

Each time that I see you

I always feel like I’m dreaming

Walking hand and hand

On cloud nine

Being able to see you smile

But you miles away from me

I wish I could hold you

And never let you go

Cupid shot me on the 31st of December 2016

Your little eyes

And most amazing handsome smile

That I couldn’t picture life without you

Your big hairdo

And your beautiful heart

I’ve realized that I have fallen so hard for angel

I know that I messed up

But I don’t regret choosing you

And I would do it all over again for you

My heart belongs to the most amazing angel

With the most beautiful smile

And that person is….


It’s always and forever be you



A hopeless soul

That’s who I am now…

Broken inside

But you can’t see my pain

Cause I’m used to pretending to be something I’m not

I bottled up all my emotions

But you can’t tell when I’m pretending

I look into your eyes

And all I see is embarrassment

Have I become a failure that you are ashamed of me??

As my life flashes right before my eyes

I remember laying in that hospital bed

And all I wish is that I died on that operating table

I ask God to take my embarrassing soul away

I remember all the negative words that you said to me

And I wished I ran away so that you never get to see me again

Out in the cold

Is where I belong

As I am not seen as a strong individual

But as an object passed down from one person to the next

Raped and Abused

Yes,it’s a scary world out there

But it seems like I belong out there

Not seen by you

You’ve always pointed out my faults

But never celebrated my success

I tried my best to close the gap by getting love from an outsider

But it didn’t work out

As I found myself staring at the mirror

Facing my fears one by one

I hope that this time around it works out for me

As I finally face the truth…

I realized that nothing that I do will ever be good enough so why bother??…

Why bother having a dream when all you do is kill it with your negative words??

Am I not good enough to live the nice life

Dressed in Versace and Louis Vuitton

Driving BMW’s??

Why bother living when all you want for me is to settle for average when I know I can be better??

Why bother trying my best to make you proud of me when you never see the good in my hard work??

I know that I can live that life

And become something better…

I know that to you dreams may seem like empty tins taking up space

But it’s all us hopeless and broken souls have to becoming better people

It’s all I have….

And what I’ve always had since I’ve been a hopeless broken soul

Yeah,that’s me

So don’t try and force yourself to be proud of me when you know that your heart is not in it



An amazing soul

The one person that I truly fell completely in love with

My love for you is deep and genuine

As I begin to think about our relationship

I realized that I didn’t fall in love with physical appearance

But your appearance within….

I’ve noticed your actions

And I wonder for how long will it all last??

I begin to think of everything between us

And I honestly don’t want you to see me as someone whose in your life for a temporary time

But I would like to be a permanent solution

I don’t want to be the girl that you just past time with…

I want to be your present and future

Text messages,love and loyalty

Are the 3 things I need from you

A text message

To let me know if you okay

Just to hear how much you love me

And how you truly feel about me


We are two people who separated by distance

Words are our way of showing love

We may not always be together

But my heart will always be yours forever more


My handsome hunk

Surrounded by all these beautiful girls

I wanted to know if you would be always be here for me??

As I hold your heart in my hands

I cherish every moment between us

As I ask God to carry us through

And open doors where we can spend time with each other



They say that there would be always that time that you would like to change the way we did things
And I felt like that with you

As I begin to think about things
I just wish I could turn back time
And did things differently

I sit in a room
And begin to wonder where did it all you wrong
Maybe I would find a reason to be strong

But I couldn’t…..
Instead I found myself thinking about all the silly conversations that we had

How it was easy to talk about you about anything and everything
Where I’d be able to tickle your funny bone
And your day would be made

You made everyday exciting for me
Because I knew that I could talk to you
And you would understand how I’m feeling

I miss our silly facebook conversations
Because I always look forward to the silly facebook stickers

You made me feel like I could be me
And you wouldn’t judge me

You made flaws seem so beautiful
That it was easy for me to come and talk to you

At that point I felt like a rock
Being strong that I couldn’t be sock puppet

I was able to speak my mind
And you didn’t judge me

Truthfully speaking
I miss the old us…
Where did we go wrong at this point in time??

Everything felt perfect
I thought maybe if I broke down my walls
You would open up to me

But instead each time I try….
I feel like I’m annoying you
Turning into a beast I don’t want you to see

Each time I try
Feels like you shooting me
Telling me to stay away from you

But honestly speaking….
I come in peace
That I’ve surrendered

I’m just trying to get to know the real you
Hoping that you would grant me enough time

As much as I want to fix the time clock
I just want to know that you’ll be there waiting for me
Like you said everyday of every month of every year