Title :Unseen reflection of a mystery man

Some days I wish I could get to know you
Most days I wish I knew you then…
Mystery soul please reveal your reflection
I find myself always wondering if you truly want to be my best friend
Or do you see me as temporary cover girl
I’m not perfect soul
And neither are you
But the things I see in you are perfect..
Always making the effort to see if you are okay
Apart of me feels like I’m annoying you
You can say that there is nothing wrong
But I wish I knew the real you
The being behind the mask…
As I try to aim for your heart
I begin to get lost in the windows of your soul
Hoping to find the answer to this unanswered question
I wish you could talk to me about it
Surrounded by light all around you
I hope that being me will be enough
Strip me off my mask
I just want to be the girl that you fall in love with…
Maybe not today
But someday…
Trying to fix things
And making the friendship more than what it was
Don’t make me empty promises
Or feed me lies
I don’t want die losing you
A million apologies
But this time I want to know what should I do for you to believe me
Mr Green Monster
Go away, I do not want to be that girl anymore
I need this mystery soul
For it is well with my soul
I am not sure if he remembers me
But my heart will always choose him…
I can be your lover
I can be your best friend
But actions speak louder than words
And maybe I wasn’t good enough for you back then
At this moment in time I feel like you don’t see the effort that I am making
Surrounded by beautiful mountains
And a breathtaking scene I have arrived at a place where we first fell in love
I have kept my promise to you
For I am home where I left my heart
And in your heart is where I found peace and happiness wrapped up in one person

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Untitled Poem…

She saw him in from distance
But this time he was spotted speeding
Driving at 120 km/h
He was definitely rushing to towards something
But it wasn’t her…
Her mind surrounded by unspoken thoughts
Guess he never knew what she was feeling…
He always taught her to speak her mind
But it was that moment that she wished she never fell into the forbidden ocean
Her worst fears have become her a life of betrayal…
As she begins to see something she never thought would ever happen to her…
A familiar face stands with the man of her dreams
Hands held tightly together
Fingers intertwined
She could tell that those people are very close with each other
But maybe this could be her wildest imagination
As they approach where she was standing
Her heart dropped into a million little pieces
As she saw the person that she confined to hurt her in a way that she never saw coming
Eyes locked in each other gaze
It was like she never existed
Tears roll down her face
She wish that this moment wasn’t real
But the smile on his face said a thousand words
As she begins to why her??
Bottle of spirit on the counter
She begins to drink the pain away
But it just hurts a little more than expected…
Thoughts of his smile begin to come back
And she realized that it was a mask
She begins drinking some more until she passes out completely
As she begins to feel how she never thought love would betray her in this way
She wishes she could mute for a long time
And her long time turns into forever

A moment in my shoes…

Heels strapped
Shoulders back
And posture straight up
With a smile on your face
But no one knows that I am broken doll

As I take a moment to myself
Staring at my reflection in the mirror
I begin to break down
And let all out for the world to see

I am insecure about a lot of things
Especially about my body…
With scars all over..
I haven’t learned how to embrace them
Instead I hide them from everyone

“You’re ugly” says the past before Mr Perfect…
I never thought I’d believe those words
Until I started staring in the mirror
Like a knife ripped through my chest

I begin to realize why I never opened up to anyone
Why I never trusted people with my life
My heart
My soul….
My happiness…

Staring into the eyes of love
Where I find myself in a ring fighting for you
I realize that I really like you a lot
Being with you has made me appreciate my flaws

Walls broken down
And the foundation dry as hell
I had found an opportunity to be completely vulnerable with you
Wearing my heart on my sleeve
You could have broken me easily…

Free falling from the sky
My feelings are deeper than I thought it would be
Catpillar me has turned into a rare butterfly because of you

Untitled Poem

Mr Perfect 👌
You have the most amazing smile
It lits up my world in a way that you would never understand…
You tend take my compliments for granted
But what I see in you is something that I wish you could take your time see me in that way
Your Personality is different
But the kind of different that makes me feel good inside
Like I am reading my favorite book on repeat
I find myself enjoying every moment with you
Your body is on my kind of on point
I’m left eyeing u from a distance
Hoping that the green monster doesn’t come creeping out
Your Eyes are tiny
That they are seen as beautiful windows
When I see my reflection
I see the endless possibilities between you and I
But I wish you could see the same thing
Your Haircut is a way that it’s hard to explain
When I first saw it
I thought it was a little afro
But I got used to see that way that I realized that it was in a way that is hard to explain
And I fell in love with it…
You always tend to put other people needs before your own
And love people selflessly
I wish you could let me love you that way
You deserve a crown
Cause in my eyes you are the king of my heart
You might not believe in fairytales
But I will believe in them on your behalf
Caught in a boxing ring
I find myself fighting for you
For us
For our love
At the end of the day you are the only person that I want to tell the world about
I want you to be proud to have me in your life
Just like I am to have you in my life
With all my heart
The only person I truly want to be with is you

The Girl That Was Always Lost

I always felt like a girl
Looking in from the outside of the window
I didn’t feel like I fit in with this crowd

As I saw bad chemicals
Psychoactive substances
And a Cannabis Sativa

I found myself in a place of thee unknown

I placed myself in a corner where I didn’t want to be seen
Or to be bothered

As the Dj played the music so loudly
I literally felt ears beeping
Like my eardrums bursting

But the music was to good that I ignored the feeling

The Dj played my favourite song
I went to the dance floor
And lost myself completely in the beat

As the beat took over my body
My soul was well again
I became the girl in her happy place

Another beat played through the speakers
My heart shattered into a billion little pieces
I found myself in reality again

I walked up into my corner of thee unknown
Someone stared at me from across the room
I looked up
And saw a face that my mind didn’t recognise

As he walked up to me
Intoxicated by bad chemicals
He looked into eyes hoping to get a smile

But I looked away
As he whispered sweet nothing’s in my ear
The smell of his breath was indescribable
My stomach started turning inside out

And I felt sick to stomach
But I kept a straight face in order to be strong
His hands landed on my body

As he starred caressing on my thighs
My body reacted as I pushed him away
But he kept on insisting that I am his property

As he held my hand insisting that I am all his to devour
The air in my lungs started sinking
As I felt myself choking
I couldn’t even breath…

I pushed his hand away
But his grip was tightened up like a rope
I begged him to leave me
But he didn’t want to let go

As I stared into his eyes
I could see his under the influence
And he began to introduce me to guys that I barely even know

This guy looked like an old man
As his started scanning me from bottom going up
I immediately felt like an object

He introduced himself to me
I could see the lust in his eyes
Feeling this man is undressing me with eyes

I managed to find a way to break free
As I broke this hold that this guy had
And I begin to run
Run for my life
Run like there’s no tomorrow
Running faster
And not looking back again

I felt the adrenaline rush kick into my body
As I found a safe place
Protecting myself
I realised that I just don’t belong there in a place where I am object to guys under the influence
Being passed down from one person to another person

I need to find me
And find where I truly belong

Unknown Feelings Of A Rejected Soul

I wish I felt all the emotions that I feel now 21 years ago
Then maybe when I was 3 years old I would write a letter to ask Father Christmas to find you
And when I turned 6 years old you would be holding my hand taking me to my first day of school
I wanted you to take me to hospital when I fell sick
So that when the anaesthetic wore off your smile would be first thing I saw

I wanted so badly for you to see the emotional abuse I have endured
Maybe you would understand why sucidie and love was my greatest escape
As I found myself trying to find out who I truly am

I wanted so badly for you to see my first poetry piece
And for you to be excited about the found my place in the world…

I wanted to you to be part of my first heartbreak
It was one that cicatrice me for life
And left me broken
That it was hard to forget about it

I wish that you were a part of my life then
So I wouldn’t be best friends with taking my own life
That I have to bottle up my emotions so much
Or find myself overdosing on medication wishing that I never wake up the next morning
So that death was my only escape

I wish you were a part of my life when I got an opportunity to stare love into the eyes
For the first time I was actually happy and in love with someone who loved me for who I truly am and not for what the world wanted me to be
He respected the fact that I didn’t consume alcohol and that I was shy…
But now his gone and I scared him away with my issues

I’m not sure if you are aware of my existance
Or the things that I am currently going through
But all I know is that I want to leave
I want to get out
But to get out with a plan to make something of myself

I just want to leave for a while
Or maybe for lifetime
All I know is that I want to end the pain that consumed my life more than alcohol

THE ALTERNATIVE MONSTER WITHIN ME…

Rough patches
With a million scratches
That is what came out at midnight

But you never had the opportunity
To see the side that I am ashamed of
As I watched you in a distance
Find the happiness that I’ve always wanted to give you

She was amazing
And knocked you off your feet
That it left me bleeding

My skin changed color
I became a different being
That it was a different scene

My fears written on face
That you never understood the pace
Of my healing

My heart was left empty
That I was tempted to steal that back
But the human side of me had to step in

Claws out
I found myself yelling your name
Hoping that something would change

But my echoe bounced back
That I fell on the ground
And like a sinking sack
I started thinking about how I fell for you

In your ocean
I found myself sinking in your love
That I couldn’t be a dove
And fly away

I eventually broke free
And I could see you
In the distant staring into her eyes
That were like stars

I realised that I should walk away
But your love locked me up like a prisoner…

Am I fool??
Am I not pretty enough to be with someone like you??
My heart shattered into a billion pieces

I sent you a gift
Wrapped up just for you
And you opened it

The pieces in the box were a soul that you broke…