Tortured Soul

When is it going to end??
Are you ever going to see me the way I see you??
Can I just hear someone say it is just a joke 😂??

I feel alone
A heart that was once warm is out in the cold
Clearly you can’t see it
But I’m a broken soul…

You ripped me apart with your actions
That I can’t help
But question this thing between us

Are the feelings still there
Or have I truly become a the ultimate cover girl
Do I truly mean anything to you
Or are you just using me like everyone else

Everyone is gone
And it has been a long time since bothered to think about me
But I never stopped caring about you

Stopping the hands of time
Maybe you just don’t give a dime
I wish you were not like those flashbacks of my open wound

Actions clearly speak louder than words
And clearly you make time for the people you truly value in your life
Seeing the list of people in your life

I’m nowhere to be found
Maybe I didn’t check properly
As I find myself contemplating

Just send me away
In a box
To a different world..

I love you so much
Just like I do now and forever more

I’m loner in this world
And I want you to notice that
But your eyes are looking at something else
Clearly I’m not worthy to be with you

Untitled Poem

I wish that you could take the time to understand how much I love you
The way I take the time to show you how I feel
And appreciate everything about you…
You are not the most perfect person
But you have qualities that make you perfect in my eyes
I have come to love your flaws and all
For you have turned into a special somebody to me
I remember seeing you from a distance
Thinking to myself
How did God create a handsome soul like you
When you opened your mouth
I felt like the angels were singing to me in your voice
Cupid was no longer on my shoulder
But on my heart
As you try shooting on my heart
But instead you tattooed your name
My life was no longer the same
Feeling like a little girl in a candy store
I felt like addicted to your love
Enjoying every second of the day
I looked forward to seeing you…
Gazing into your handsome eyes
I found myself in another world
Where no one existed besides you and I
Fingers intertwined
With my head on your chest…
I begin to feel nothing but happiness…
My deepest fears faded away
And I’m surrounded by color
I realized that I was in my happy place
Laying under the stars
This is truly a perfect moment
Staring into your eyes
I found myself feeling at home

Thee Unknown Place 😔

The sound of the water goes..
As I found myself drowning in a pool of unspoken emotions
I hope that I don’t find myself floating as yet
The pressure of the water increase
And I feel my eyes burning like fire
Tear drops begin to flow down
As memories of my past resurface years later
From the beginning…
I start to feel all the emotions that were buried six feet under the ground
Memories of what used to be happy me gone
That is has been a long time since I was truly happy
I feel completely emptied out
Like a tin
I feel like you have used me
That I once became your addiction
But that is how life is…
We use each other
And we both have quenched our thirsty soul
We take until we both have nothing left to give
As I laid in the water
With the water right above my head
Images of mystery man start rushing through my mind
Realizing that you were just a figure of my imagination
I could see you in the distance
But never had an opportunity to hold you in an instance
I begin to hate myself for allowing my past life to leave me so vulnerable
Pushing my body to sink completely in cold water
Anger starts rushing through my head
I hated myself and my inability to protect myself from harms way
At some point it was an amazing feeling
But gravity brought me to the ground
And I got the biggest reality check
My dreams started fading away
And I was in that place again
A dark unknown place

Unseen reflection of a mystery man

Some days I wish I could get to know you
Most days I wish I knew you then…
Mystery soul please reveal your reflection
I find myself always wondering if you truly want to be my best friend
Or do you see me as temporary cover girl
I’m not perfect soul
And neither are you
But the things I see in you are perfect..
Always making the effort to see if you are okay
Apart of me feels like I’m annoying you
You can say that there is nothing wrong
But I wish I knew the real you
The being behind the mask…
As I try to aim for your heart
I begin to get lost in the windows of your soul
Hoping to find the answer to this unanswered question
I wish you could talk to me about it
Surrounded by light all around you
I hope that being me will be enough
Strip me off my mask
I just want to be the girl that you fall in love with…
Maybe not today
But someday…
Trying to fix things
And making the friendship more than what it was
Don’t make me empty promises
Or feed me lies
I don’t want die losing you
A million apologies
But this time I want to know what should I do for you to believe me
Mr Green Monster
Go away, I do not want to be that girl anymore
I need this mystery soul
For it is well with my soul
I am not sure if he remembers me
But my heart will always choose him…
I can be your lover
I can be your best friend
But actions speak louder than words
And maybe I wasn’t good enough for you back then
At this moment in time I feel like you don’t see the effort that I am making
Surrounded by beautiful mountains
And a breathtaking scene I have arrived at a place where we first fell in love
I have kept my promise to you
For I am home where I left my heart
And in your heart is where I found peace and happiness wrapped up in one person

Untitled Poem…

She saw him in from distance
But this time he was spotted speeding
Driving at 120 km/h
He was definitely rushing to towards something
But it wasn’t her…
Her mind surrounded by unspoken thoughts
Guess he never knew what she was feeling…
He always taught her to speak her mind
But it was that moment that she wished she never fell into the forbidden ocean
Her worst fears have become her a life of betrayal…
As she begins to see something she never thought would ever happen to her…
A familiar face stands with the man of her dreams
Hands held tightly together
Fingers intertwined
She could tell that those people are very close with each other
But maybe this could be her wildest imagination
As they approach where she was standing
Her heart dropped into a million little pieces
As she saw the person that she confined to hurt her in a way that she never saw coming
Eyes locked in each other gaze
It was like she never existed
Tears roll down her face
She wish that this moment wasn’t real
But the smile on his face said a thousand words
As she begins to why her??
Bottle of spirit on the counter
She begins to drink the pain away
But it just hurts a little more than expected…
Thoughts of his smile begin to come back
And she realized that it was a mask
She begins drinking some more until she passes out completely
As she begins to feel how she never thought love would betray her in this way
She wishes she could mute for a long time
And her long time turns into forever

A moment in my shoes…

Heels strapped
Shoulders back
And posture straight up
With a smile on your face
But no one knows that I am broken doll

As I take a moment to myself
Staring at my reflection in the mirror
I begin to break down
And let all out for the world to see

I am insecure about a lot of things
Especially about my body…
With scars all over..
I haven’t learned how to embrace them
Instead I hide them from everyone

“You’re ugly” says the past before Mr Perfect…
I never thought I’d believe those words
Until I started staring in the mirror
Like a knife ripped through my chest

I begin to realize why I never opened up to anyone
Why I never trusted people with my life
My heart
My soul….
My happiness…

Staring into the eyes of love
Where I find myself in a ring fighting for you
I realize that I really like you a lot
Being with you has made me appreciate my flaws

Walls broken down
And the foundation dry as hell
I had found an opportunity to be completely vulnerable with you
Wearing my heart on my sleeve
You could have broken me easily…

Free falling from the sky
My feelings are deeper than I thought it would be
Catpillar me has turned into a rare butterfly because of you

Untitled Poem

Mr Perfect 👌
You have the most amazing smile
It lits up my world in a way that you would never understand…
You tend take my compliments for granted
But what I see in you is something that I wish you could take your time see me in that way
Your Personality is different
But the kind of different that makes me feel good inside
Like I am reading my favorite book on repeat
I find myself enjoying every moment with you
Your body is on my kind of on point
I’m left eyeing u from a distance
Hoping that the green monster doesn’t come creeping out
Your Eyes are tiny
That they are seen as beautiful windows
When I see my reflection
I see the endless possibilities between you and I
But I wish you could see the same thing
Your Haircut is a way that it’s hard to explain
When I first saw it
I thought it was a little afro
But I got used to see that way that I realized that it was in a way that is hard to explain
And I fell in love with it…
You always tend to put other people needs before your own
And love people selflessly
I wish you could let me love you that way
You deserve a crown
Cause in my eyes you are the king of my heart
You might not believe in fairytales
But I will believe in them on your behalf
Caught in a boxing ring
I find myself fighting for you
For us
For our love
At the end of the day you are the only person that I want to tell the world about
I want you to be proud to have me in your life
Just like I am to have you in my life
With all my heart
The only person I truly want to be with is you