Love Of An Addict…

Golden brown powder laid gently on a transparent glass,
I have been clean for 14 days,
One look,
You have got me completely weak in the knees.
Lights turned off,
Blinds completely closed.
Place is starting to look like an abandoned house.
Walking into an empty space,
If the walls could tell a story,
It illustrate a picture of our life before the unexpected storm.
Recalling the day before I lost everything in the storm.
We were happy,
Not happy go lucky,
I mean everyday wasn’t exactly filled with sunshines and rainbows,
Constantly high on little doses of you,
But the messed up part is I still chose you.
I remember the mornings when you would get ready for work in front of the mirror,
Afraid to see the greatness that lies within you.
Sitting on the bed,
Unaware that I was wake and staring at you.
Dressed in your dirty t-shirt,
I walked out of the bed,
Enclosed my arms around you.
Holding your face in my hands,
Spreading a little kisses on your face like paint spilled on a blank white canvas,
Reminding you that you are an amazing man who stole my heart.
Hands completely soaking wet like a female completely turned on by the work of God’s art.
Your hands stroking my mind,
Mouth completely enclosed on my soul,
Breathing in,
Sucking the life out of my heart,
Eyes rolled to the back of my head,
Windows completely foggy as I begin gasping for air,
Inhale,
Exhale,
Legs shaking beyond control and out of reach.
I remember leaving the house with my dreams still intact,
I was still Mrs.Greenwood with three little souls who stole my heart at different times,
But I returned with a big suitcase and dreams swept away during the storm.
In a blink of eye I became a single mom of three little souls.
Dialling your number,
I tried to reach out,
Trying by all means to salvage everything that floated away during the storm,
Phone ringing but there’s no response,
Pacing back and forth,
Wondering where did it all go wrong?
Walking into the bedroom,
Our wedding picture still hanging above the bed,
Staring at our happy faces,
I miss our lives before we said I do.
Contemplating on whether I should take a shot of the bottle of Jagermeister on the counter
Or pull a line just to numb the pain of losing you,
White blank paper rolled up,
One finger enclosed over one nostril,
I pulled a line,
Eyes closed tightly,
Hands knocked on the wall,
I relapsed and lost my title against you.