Not On Mute Anymore…

I’m flawed
Standing right here in front of you
All I can be honest
This shit is hard
And I can’t bury my feelings anymore
On the road of self growth
I realized that I cannot lie to the eyes that left me completely weak
The problem is me
Feeling the tension is real
I can’t place it on mute
Everything that I feel for you is genuine
I don’t want you to take the blame for other people’s mistakes
Needing to love myself first
Feeling that the green monster might get the better of me
All I can do is accept my mistakes
I don’t want lose you
Knowing very well that I can survive without you
But truth be told I don’t want to live without you
Dealing with unexpected punches
And a disquiet knockouts
Feeling the rain upon my skin
I felt like tapping out at times
Your smile has been my muse
My hands are burning up
The arms are getting weaker by the minute
I’m beginning to feel really anxious
Wondering if I made the right choice by doing this
Words of encouragement has been the reason why I held on for so long
Getting through the storms trying by all means to find the rainbow with the pot of happiness
But realizing that I need find it within myself first
Swallowing this big girl pill
I decided to make peace with the things I could no longer change
But the wounds still remained open
My guard went up
Feeling like the glass has been broken enough to try and fix
Thinking about the days where I was told be silent
Putting everything that I felt in the back burner of it all
Choosing to be puppet
And being controlled like car
With bleeding cuts on my hands
I don’t think I’ve got any strength left to fight for someone who could possibly hurt me
Fearing for the worst
I couldn’t put myself on mute anymore