The Internal War…

I wish I could let it all out
Drop the guard down
Let you in
Without overthinking
And contemplating if I made the right decision
I want to be more than just an ordinary number
Yearning to slumber right next to you
Exposing you to the nakedness of my soul
To be taken to different world
Whenever I’m in your presence it feels like magic
A rare feeling
Like diamonds
I always feel like I am shining
But I don’t want to lose this
My deepest fear is losing us
Scared that you might cut the cord
Cut ties with me
Feeling like a fool in front of you
Walking away with so much embarrassment
I don’t think you would see me the same way again
Making a mess
Being addicted to you
I don’t know if I will ever be okay with eyes wondering around
Wishing I could read your mind
To know what you think of me
If you ever think about me
My mind is claustrophobic
Going on overdrive mode
Choosing your happiness over everything else
I just want to have a moment with you
Balling my tears out
Everything in the past has resurfaced
Spilling out the darkness
I’m not sure how to tell you that I need you
Hoping that you would not see me as weird
Being in good place
All I want is you