Masterpiece In Progress…

She wish she could just be normal
Wear her heart on her chest
Instead of it being on her sleeve
Quit analyzing, overthinking and contemplating whether it’s good decision or not
Taking a leap of faith
Jumping from the edge with no safety cables or any safety equipment to protect her
Wanting so badly to hide her feelings
Pressing mute for a while
Acting like it doesn’t hurt
Choosing not to reach for bandages for every open wound
Walk away without fighting
Cut the cord without thinking so hard about it
Believing more in actions
Instead of taking words and running with it
Words that turned into empty promises
Empty promises that feel like loud tins
Wishing she could drown her sorrows in the punching bag
Striking it from every single angle
She feels like she’s in a ring
But it seems to attack her back
With her guard up
She feels like it’s the only way to protect herself from getting hurt
Forcing her to be a shift shaper
Being manipulated into being something she’s not
A happy soul on the outside
But deep inside she is a sad soul
Finding comfort in the arms of night
When the moon comes out to play
Her mind traveling down the highway to happy place that she hopes for
She’s found herself being a people pleaser
Having her kindness taken for weakness
The walls surrounding her heart are getting stronger by the minute
But inside the four walls it broke her apart
Choosing the title of being pretty
Over beautiful
Wearing the sash of last place with the confidence
Taking her position on the podium
But inside the four walls it broke her apart
Living a life when she’s handing in her dreams in a pawn shop
Settling for last place once again
Eyes closed tightly
Her mind replays her scariest memory
Laying on that hospital bed
Her soul feels empty
Fighting for her life
She could hear the flatline of the heart machine making a noise
Tears rolling down her face
Thinking that life would much easier without her
A war that feels like an unexpected hurricane
Sweeping away everything that feels normal to her
Taking accountability for her actions
Staring at the sky and it was blue again
But looking around at the place she onced called home and there was nothing left
Besides the rubble of everything that was normal to her
Looking at the mess around her
It feels like bunch of complicated puzzle pieces
Turning them around and around
It became a slow progress
An indecisive soul staring at the road ahead she chooses her own dreams
Muting everyone’s negative opinions