UNEXPLAINABLE EMOTIONS

Your eyes
Are the windows of your handsome soul
That I get lost in them whenever I stare at you

Your smile
That’s my sunshine and the light of my life
Gives me strength to face each day like it’s my last

Your heart
My favorite pillow at night
That whenever I lay on your chest,I immediately fall asleep
And have sweet dreams of you

Your arms
Are my shield of protection
That I can face each challenge that life throws at me with you by side

As I think how lucky I am to have you
My rock and pillar of strength
That I thank God for blessing me with a wonderful soul like you

The fights
The arguments
The silent treatments etc…

Get the better of me
As I fear that it may tear us apart
But I realized that I rather experience all of this with you

I might have my own perception on how a lady should be treated
But I didn’t think about the reality of life

As you always wondered why do I feel this way about you

I wish I could find the words to describe I feel about you
As I realized that these feelings are deeper than I thought they would actually be

That it reminds me of the first time I met you
I was afraid to touch you
To hold you close to my heart

As you stared into my eyes
I was afraid to fall for you
My walls got stronger than before

They say it’s very rare for you to find someone you might have a connection with

Well,I was really lucky an immediate connection with you
That as much as I wanted to sleep
You made my exhaustion and tiredness disappear

Being with you that night
Made my smile so bright
That I wanted to get to know you better

As I stare into your eyes
I wish that you could see the effort that I’m making
Trying my best to break down your walls
And get to the core of your heart without hurting you…….

But all I can ever do…..
Is hope and pray that you would grant me the opportunity to tell you in person
How much I……I love you
And mean it with every word and every tear

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AN ABUSIVE LOVE

A broken soul
With a million scars on her body
She stares at the messed up image

As her eyes turn red
From all the crying

As he made her feel like nothing
She suffered from low self-esteem
Losing little pieces of herself

She becomes an addict
Addicted his love
It’s hard for her to see the light

Blinded by his love
She couldn’t see how much his hurting her

Open wounds
Million scars on her face
He doesn’t notice the damage on her face

All he sees is a punching bag
One punch in the face
Two in the chest

She laid there with no one to help her
As he kicked her like a dog

He barely noticed the internal consequences

She tries to fight for herself
But his anger makes him stronger by the second

He pushes her against the wall
And starts beating up hard

Two punches in the face
One in the stomach

As he spits in her face like a dog
He walks away with smile in his face

And she is left there in the dark
Crying her eyes out
She curls up with a blanket

She eventually falls asleep
She wakes up in his arms
Hoping that day would be better

FEELINGS

Spiralling out of control
That’s the life that she was living
As she found herself diving into the ocean of the unknown

Her heart is torn into pieces
As she finally sees the truth

The girl that is blinded by love

Doesn’t seem to believe in love anymore
As she found herself hurting

Every fight
Argument
Led to the moment when he broke her heart

As she thought of him as a guy that she would pass time with

But her likes for him
Turned into love
And an instant she fell completely in love with him

That losing him feels like a knife through her chest
Like an unexpected storm that she didn’t see coming

As she pushes him away
She never realized that she would push him into the arms of comfort
The arms of adultery
The arms of a one night stand

SACRIFICED SOUL

They say each of us have calling
And yours happened to be protecting the country

My heart has a million scars
As each goodbye becomes harder for me
Tears roll down my face

As I watched you wave goodbye
But fear gets the better of me
As I think that goodbye could be the last time I see you

Each knock on the door becomes like a scary movie

I begin to dread the day that you wouldn’t come home
That I wouldn’t run into arms and give you a big hug

I wish that you were here with me
Protecting me from the world
Being my rock when I’m feeling down

As I see everyone else happy with their partners
I begin to miss you even more

Minutes turn into hours
Hours turn into days
Days turn into weeks
Weeks turn into months
And I begin to wish that you were home

As the phone starts ringing
My heart starts beating up hard
And I begin to pray that it’s you calling with good news

As I hear a knock on the door
I hope that it’s you

But it’s your colleague
Carrying the flag and your chain
As I see the pain in their eyes

And I knew that you were gone
A soul that put his country’s need before he’s own

My hero
Gone to be my guardian angel in heaven

EMERGENCY:I NEED TO FIND ME

A broken soul
Left with an open wound
As all the negative words that were cursed upon my life came to pass

Words that I couldn’t even change into positive no matter how times I tried
I just realized that it was never good enough for you

As your words come like sharp knife through my chest
Attacking me from both sides
I am left with million scars that won’t go away

I found myself laying on the table
And surgical doctors try to stop the bleeding trauma
But it becomes to much

As they put pressure on all my open wounds
But one by one
These wounds continue to bleed

The doctors question what’s is causing the blood vessels to bleed so much?

So they cut me open harmonic scalple
To check from which direction the bleeding is coming from

They used suction tube to remove all the blood
As they see a leak in one of the vessels

They begin to patch it up

My heartbeat begins to drop
As they realized that wounds are getting deeper

The doctor tells the nurse to bring the defilbrillation
To restore the heart beat

But she came it was to late
My heart stopped
And my mind may peace with the fact that I was never good enough

THE UNCENSORED VERSIONS OF HER

Ugly
Stupid
Are the words that come into her head

Alone
In a room filled with darkness
It seems hard to believe what the world says

Bottled up emotions
Something that she is so use to doing it
That it became an addiction

Communication is the only way
But she can’t even do that anymore without hurting his feelings

As her heart is filled with loads of love
She wonders if it will be good enough for him

So she escape from the wall that she built around her
But she wonder if he still want to get to know the real her

Jealousy
Becomes one the beast that she doesn’t want to himsee
So she locks that side of herself away

All he ever sees the scars on her body
But not on her face
As she hide herself behind the mask

A mask that has become a part of her
That it’s hard to let go of it
Will he ever remove that mask to see the real her ??

The Vulnerable
Scared
Fearful
Broken
Depressed
Insecure
Emotional
Bottled up
Me??

Would he be able to love her??
The girl who cries a lot
Happy or Sad
It still remains the same

The girl who has never been asked out in person
Introvert at first
But once he gets to know her then she’s an extrovert

The girl who gets loves watching romcom
And believes in fairytales

The girl who loves her tomboy swagg
But she’s a classy lady at heart

The girl who loves listening to Trey Songz
But doesn’t mind listening to deep house because it’s happens to her favorite

The girl who doesn’t mind holding your hand and doesn’t get bored while getting to you

The girl would rather be in your arms at this moment in time instead of away from you for so long

The girl who constantly overthink everything and she make sure that everyone is okay before she worries about herself

The girl who cherishes every little moment
That you would spend with her

Come rain or shine
She’ll always be there for you
Just to keep 100

That girl who loves
And believe in every little love quote

Yes,that girl
Cherish her
Because girls like that don’t come everyday

UNTOLD MEMORIES

The last night of the year
And that’s when I met you
An angel sent from above just for me

One look
And I was dying to know your name

They say first impressions matter
And it seems like they were right about that
You seemed like a dress in my closet that I couldn’t wait to try on

And boy did it look good on me
Like it was designed just for me

As I found myself in a place
Which carries all the beautiful memories that we made
I wish I could’ve done things differently

Maybe this would have been a different story
Or wonderful love poem
With you as the main character

But instead I took things way to far
One text message after the other
I didn’t realize that I was being really annoying

Like a fly that won’t leave you alone

Now I wish I could disappear
In a world of thee unknown
Where I wouldn’t see the tears that I caused
Fall from your handsome face

As I wish that I never met all these other faces
Maybe things would have been different for us

Maybe if I wasn’t so insecure about myself
You would have seen the good in me
But instead you saw a side that I never ever thought existed

As fear got the better of me
It unleashed the beast that I’ve never seen before

You notice the change in my behaviour
And things were never the same again

As you walked away
I was faced with questions that made me question my worth
That made me uncover old wounds that I thought were buried 6 feet under

But your presence made me realize how much I try my best to be this strong young lady
With a messed up soul

I realized that with you
It was good to just be me with no expectations
No magnifying glass to check my mistakes

I found myself falling in the ocean
As I fell deep into that ocean
An ocean of the unknown

That’s when I realized that I started catching feelings for you

Feelings that words were not enough to explain how I feel about you
That they could only be shown to you

But instead they had to be put into words
That only 3 words were enough
I begin to think if these words were enough

And given the circumstances of our love
It didn’t work out for the best

The Unforgettable Pain

Broken
Isolated
As I sit in a room filled with a lot of things

Tears roll down my face
As I realized that I lost you
And my heart pays the cost

My mind replays all wonderful memories
And I wonder where did it all go wrong
I stare at the time wishing I could turn back time so I could fix things

As my phone rings
I hope that it’s you who calls
But truth is you moved on

I struggle to make peace with the fact that you gone
But reality hits me hard
As I realized that I don’t deserve to be alive

As I watched you
Staring at you from distance
My love for you comes in an instance

As I stare at my reflection in the mirror
I begin to think about things
And I wonder where did it all go wrong?

A million thoughts run through my head
As I realized that this pain feels like a knife through my chest

As I begin to think about how you disappointed me
I realise that I’m appointed with broken heart

I watched you walk away
With her in your arms
I realized that you were mine to hold

But I didn’t expect you to turn so cold
That your words still feel like a knife through my chest

As I stare at you
I see how you became a person that I can’t even recognize
They say “Karma is a ugly person” nd I really see how much you hate me

I see the girl who was always there for you
And I begin to wonder how could you put me in the same category as her

I’m just an average looking young lady
Passed down from one person to the next
Like an object

That I feel dirty and ugly
I start to point the things that are wrong with me
But I realized that I couldn’t change it

My future hopes and dreams
Fade away into the beams of the unknown
That I wish I could fix things

But it’s too late
Because the hate has grown so much
That I wish I could runaway like a train so fast that there are no brakes

KARMA IS A REALLY UGLY PERSON

Hi there
I’m suppose to be posting a poem because I’m a poet but I just came to point in my life where I need to be truthfully honest with everyone including myself

So I just want to be straight up honest with everyone nd keep💯

Firstly I want to take the opportunity to say I’m really sorry to everyone for hurting them it was never my intention to do that or make anyone think so low about themselves

I realized that promises should never be made if you know that you can’t keep them so in that case I just want everyone to know that if someone chooses to leave your life just let them go😔because as much as it will hurt it might be the best option ever

Look I know that everyone is probably thinking that I’m boring😒because I’m talking a whole lot of nonsense but I’m being honest with you🙂 In life you have face reality and just accept the fact that some people will never accept you for you really are…. I guess all I really want is to be real with myself and everyone else ☺

I may have been rejected by a lot of people but I’m stronger person now 😁So I want to take the opportunity to say Thank you to everyone who has love nd hate me 😊I’m really grateful because this has made me stronger person now

My Version of Forever

Light brown skin
Big hair
And a touch of pink lips

I begin to think of you

Everything that I have always wanted
I found in you

My version of happiness
As I stare at your pictures
My heart sings your name out loud

As I picture you in the Zulu attire
You begin to say your clan names
People start to ululate

My impression of you
Has gone past perfection

I see myself with you
And I realise that I’m falling for you
My forever can begin

Like a love story
I feel like I’m living my fairytale dream

Long conversation on the phone
And a million text messages
I see why you want to be open about everything

Long distance relationship
And happiness in an instance
I see why you holding on to the past

Afraid of getting hurt
I see the pain hidden behind your eyes
I begin to wish I could take your pain away

You look like my prince charming
With a crown on your head
As I rise up to hand over the key to my heart

My soul is revealed
And my happiness is because of you

I kneel down on my knees
As I give thanks to God for blessing me with you
A sense of peace is around me

This journey is familiar
But the challenge is not easy

I try my best not rush the pace
Cause I don’t want it to feel like a race

Deep thoughts on my mind
I try my best to find who I truly am

Mister Tough guy
I wonder if you’ll ever be vulnerable with me

Handsome
And every girl’s Man Crush Everyday
I realise that I get jealous of them

Fear gets the best of me
I wonder if you still remember that I love you?

Little arguments and fights
We go to bed with tears in our eyes
And fears in our hearts

I just hope that we could go back
And try to avoid this sack of pain

As I lay in my bed
I cried till my eyes turned red
Trying to clear my head

I diagnose myself
And I found myself falling for you
A scary ocean

But I remember that I trust you
And I just want to be happy with you

Written by Randy Crystelle Slaffa
Date: 13th April 2017