Her Worst Scariest Nightmare That Never Disappeared

She felt like a failure
A burden
As her mind replays her scariest memories
22 years later
It still feels like it all happened yesterday
Her chest getting tighter by the minute
It feels really hard to breathe
Being in that room
Surrounded by machines
People coming in and out
Having needles inserted in and out her veins
Seeing all these scaples
It scared
Every night tears rolling her face
Deep inside she is dying
Fearing of getting hurt
As she held on tightly to the hand that was there
Induced with aesthetic
Feeling numb from the waist up
Her sense of feeling
The hand that once held her hand is no longer there
Eyes open wide
She is left alone with her thoughts
Picturing herself in her head running around in an open field
Feeling happy
Finding her place in the world
Nurses discover the smile on her face
She’s miles away
Connected to machines that kept her alive
Thinking that she’s a beautiful in spite of the scars on her body
It became part of her story
Exposing herself to the outside world
Thinking that things would be easier
But instead she got awkward stares
Wanting to crawl into a shell
Hiding from the outside world
Building strong iron walls to shield her soul
It’s hard to trust people close to you
Words turned into loud empty tins
Constantly overthinking and contemplating whether it’s true or not
Struggling to feel safe
Wanting to feel comfortable, it became hard
Strong young lady in the mirror
But internally she’s a mess
Like broken guitar
It’s hard to put her back together again

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