The Girl That Was Always Lost

I always felt like a girl
Looking in from the outside of the window
I didn’t feel like I fit in with this crowd

As I saw bad chemicals
Psychoactive substances
And a Cannabis Sativa

I found myself in a place of thee unknown

I placed myself in a corner where I didn’t want to be seen
Or to be bothered

As the Dj played the music so loudly
I literally felt ears beeping
Like my eardrums bursting

But the music was to good that I ignored the feeling

The Dj played my favourite song
I went to the dance floor
And lost myself completely in the beat

As the beat took over my body
My soul was well again
I became the girl in her happy place

Another beat played through the speakers
My heart shattered into a billion little pieces
I found myself in reality again

I walked up into my corner of thee unknown
Someone stared at me from across the room
I looked up
And saw a face that my mind didn’t recognise

As he walked up to me
Intoxicated by bad chemicals
He looked into eyes hoping to get a smile

But I looked away
As he whispered sweet nothing’s in my ear
The smell of his breath was indescribable
My stomach started turning inside out

And I felt sick to stomach
But I kept a straight face in order to be strong
His hands landed on my body

As he starred caressing on my thighs
My body reacted as I pushed him away
But he kept on insisting that I am his property

As he held my hand insisting that I am all his to devour
The air in my lungs started sinking
As I felt myself choking
I couldn’t even breath…

I pushed his hand away
But his grip was tightened up like a rope
I begged him to leave me
But he didn’t want to let go

As I stared into his eyes
I could see his under the influence
And he began to introduce me to guys that I barely even know

This guy looked like an old man
As his started scanning me from bottom going up
I immediately felt like an object

He introduced himself to me
I could see the lust in his eyes
Feeling this man is undressing me with eyes

I managed to find a way to break free
As I broke this hold that this guy had
And I begin to run
Run for my life
Run like there’s no tomorrow
Running faster
And not looking back again

I felt the adrenaline rush kick into my body
As I found a safe place
Protecting myself
I realised that I just don’t belong there in a place where I am object to guys under the influence
Being passed down from one person to another person

I need to find me
And find where I truly belong

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5 thoughts on “The Girl That Was Always Lost

  1. I like this because it reads almost like a whirlpool of swirling emotions with images briefly appearing and disappearing. Attractive presentation to hold the reader πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Like

  2. Really relatable sentiments for a lot of women. It reminds me of many nights of clubbing that were ruined by slimeballs who thought my body was their property.
    I really like your post.

    Like

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